Enjoying WHAT???

This post might cause some to question my sanity, but here goes! Some of you may have heard me say, "I'm going to drive this car till the wheels fall off." Well, as it turns out, that was a self-fulfilled prophecy. On Tuesday, November 27, 2009 someone ran a redlight and totaled my little BGAP (the Big Gay Activist Prius). I wasn't hurt at all, but alas, the BGAP was "totaled" by the insurance adjustors.

I was westbound on 7th street when a southbound car ran the red light at Elgin Street and struck me on the rear passenger door. Luckily the pavement was wet, I had a lot of forward momentum, and they struck me behind the center of the car (axis of rotation). This caused me to continue forward while spinning. I think I turned around about 3/4 of a turn in the middle of the four-lane street without hitting any other vehicles. The other car had it's front end smooshed in and to the right and the radiator busted all to hell. They were able to pull over to the side and didn't hit any other cars. Thankfully, nobody was hurt!

Here's where the story gets a little wierd and even crazy ; ) I saw the oncoming car just as I entered the intersection, and I'm pretty sure that the emotion, if not the actual words, "OH SHIT!!!!" passed through my mind. A split second later there was an explosive sound as the other car hit mine. Everything was moving in slow motion, just like I've always heard that it does from anyone who's ever been in a car wreck and remembered it. The BAMM from the impact was surprisingly brief...not at all as long as the sounds of car crashes in the movies. At some point I had started braking, maybe before or after the impact--I can't remember which. I realized that I was spinning by the motion of the scenery outside the car, as well as the insistant BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! of the anti-skid warning alarm and light on the dash. I looked at it and thought, "I know I'm fucking skidding!!!" and then started laughing, and thought to myself, "RELAX." Somehow I was able to purposefully and mindfully relax my entire body because I knew that tensing up would really exacerbate the later aches and pains. When I finally came to a stop every warning light on the dashboard was lit up. The passenger side curtain airbags were the only ones that had deployed, as they were on the side of the impact. My cell phone was cradled comfortably in it's usual spot in the console cup holder. Chuckling ironically, I called the office of the attorneys I was on the way to see about an upcoming deposition. I made the call quickly, then opened the door and was relieved to see the two passengers of the other car standing outside and looking OK. We called out to each other and made sure that all of us were alright, then waited for the police and the wrecker to arrive. The weird and crazy part of this whole thing was that I felt absolutely ZERO anger, frustration, anxiety, or any other negative emotions at all. I was simply filled with gratitude that all of us involved were alright. The other party completely admitted fault and was sited by the officer for running the red light. Unfortunately for them, their insurance had been canceled for non-payment a few months before, so my insurance company will end up going after them for it after they pay my claim. If I could afford to do so, I'd just pay it myself so that the other folks wouldn't have to go through all the trouble, as I'm sure that they can't afford it; however, I also can not afford to pay off what I still owe on the Prius or to get another car without the insurance settlement, so I'll have to file. If I won the lottery though, I'd just drop it and buy me another prius as well as one for the other folks. When I try to think about it logically, it doesn't make sense to me at all--that I feel worse for the people who were at fault than I do for myself, the actual victim of the accident. The only emotions that I can come up with are gratitude that nobody was seriously injured and sorrow for the others who appeared to be way less fortunate in life than I am.

Less than an hour after the impact I was in a FANCY Camry with heated leather seats and XM Radio, blasting the amazing, gay, dance club music : )) The wrecker had towed me directly to the Toyota collision center which had the Toyota car rental center next door. The folks at both places were super helpful. I went to an AA meeting, then went for my favorite Indian food at Kolam. From there I went on out to Coweta to see my practice partner, Shawna McCalip, MD to get checked out, documented, and treated for the soreness that was creeping up on me. I didn't have any serious pains yet, but my entire upper back was starting to tighten up and get a little achy and actually burning. The burning wasn't bad, just an odd sensation. Shawna was lucky enough to get to see my manly man hairy chest when she checked for seatbelt marks...lol :-P Everything checked out fine and I got a shot of toradol and my scripts for toradol tablets, flexeril (muscle relaxer), and medrol (steroid anti-inflamatory)called in to City Drug in Coweta. They had them ready WAY FASTER and at a MUCH better price than Walgreens! I got all three scripts for $17, which is what the giant corporate chain was going to charge for only one of them! I'll never fill one at walgreens again. After getting my meds I went back to Mary Ann's place in Tulsa because she has a Tempurpedic bed in the guest room for me to sleep on and a heat pad, which I didn't have at home and didn't really want to buy. We got a bite to eat and then both turned in for the evening. I ended up taking three tabs of toradol after the shot, only three of the flexeril. The last dose of each at 7:30 Wednesday morning, and I didn't even start the steroid does pack at all. I was feeling perfectly fine through the rest of the afternoon Wednesday, so called the office to let them know I'd be in to work on Thursday. I was VERY lucky to have come through such a collision with such minor injury!!!

I don't write about this experience to toot my own horn, to say how magnanimous I am, or anything like that. Rather, this post is more of a testament to the power, peace, serenity, and innumerable other benefits that I've received as a result of starting down a spiritual path almost nine years ago. When I put down the bottle and picked up "the program," my life began slowly but surely changing for the better, and it has never stopped improving. If it weren't for the program, I'd probably still be stewing, spewing, and downing the brewing in a vain attempt to kill the emotional pain. Not only have I been able to let go of any negativity associated with this accident, but I've also been able to handle it all very well with all of the complex details of paperwork that are involved in towing the car, arranging insurance claims, looking for another car, planning for the financial aspects, etc. Without the program, I'd have been a mess. Without the power of prayer and meditation, I'd have been lost. With the power of spirit, the program, prayer, and meditation I've enjoyed peace, serenity, focus, and strength in the midst of one of life's unexpected little storms. VERY strangely, I actually enjoyed the experience, as it was all completely new to me. For everything, I'm truly grateful : )

Pure Cafe in Tulsa

On Sunday, November 8th, I had a nearly ecstatic culinary experience for lunch with my friend, sponsor, guru, Mary Ann : ) This was our first lunch at Pure Cafe in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Pure is a completely raw food vegetarian eatery to the best of my knowledge, and it may be vegan as well. According to Mary Ann, they've been in the catering business for quite a while and have now ventured into the sit down restaurant arena. Considering that it was possibly the best food I've ever tasted in my life, if I have anything at all to do with it, they'll be here to stay!

Lunch was a complete sensory delight. The the fuschia orchids and multi-colored daisies gracing the tables were gently illuminated from the front of the restaurant by a large, awning covered bay window as well as delicate dangling lamps from above. A perfect breeze wafted the aroma of the food back and forth between the open front and back doors. Honey bees hovered about, attracted by both the flowers and the fruit scents I imagine. I used to have quite a bee and wasp phobia, but they seemed utterly harmless and added an extra dash of nature to the experience. Music played at the perfect volume softly accentuating all of the other sensual stimuli. Our corner of the restaurant was the apex of the two bench seating areas, which afforded us both a complete view of the place. The bookcase on the wall just inside the entry shelves a facinating collection of raw food cook books--an oxymoron suppose, since none of the food there is actually cooked, but rather prepared.

Mary Ann had a pizza with a crunchy crust of what seemed to be ground up nuts. Aside from the nibble of the crust that I had, she polished off the whole thing without a problem! I had coconut noodles made of tender baby coconut "meat" which was tossed together with cashews, radishes, and lots of other stuff that I couldn't identify. I've decided that for me, it doesn't matter what's in it as long as it's tasty and comes from the plant kingdom. To top it all off, they had fresh coconut water, which is now my absolute favorite beverage on Earth! : ))

I can't wait to go back and try some more of their amazing creations! If you're up for a phenomenal senory, culinary experience, check out Pure Cafe:

Pure Cafe
3711 S Harvard
Tulsa, OK
www.purerawcafe.com
918-749-8000

You won't be disappointed!!!

Meat Relapse Dream

Fascinating what the mind will come up with in the middle of the night! A night or two ago I dreamed that I was chewing on something that tasted very bad, had a horrible texture, and was tightly stuck in my throat. I thought, "What the hell is this I'm eating?!?!" Then I looked at what I had in my hand and realized it was a chicken sandwich, like what one would get at a Chick-filet fast food grease bin. I was at once shocked, disappointed and disgusted, wondering how and why I had picked up a chicken sandwich, let alone begun to eat it. Then I decided to spit out what was left in my mouth and choke down what was still in my throat, resolving to be more careful in my future food choices.

Dreams of this type are not unfamiliar to me. I've been having them for years since I had my last drink of alcohol. I'll be in mid swig when I realize what's going on and the feelings that I have in these "drunk dreams" are exactly like what I had in the meat relapse dream the other night. I'm always terribly surprised and disappointed that I've messed up; however, invariably my resolve to continue on down the right path is steadfast. I feel about eating meat much the same as I do about drinking alcohol. It is a thing of the past for me. Not only do I not miss it, but I'm truly thrilled about my future life without it!

Stopping the consumption of meat is not a loss for me at all, but rather an opportunity to fully explore and delight in the bounty and variety of vegetarian cuisine : ) Browsing the produce section is way more fun than I ever imagined it could be; furthermore, I'm now unconcerned about getting my hands covered in scary bacteria like I used to be when shopping in the meat section. Same goes for my cutting board. I'm pitching the old one that I used for meat and happily slicing, dicing, and cutting all my fruits and veggies on my new bamboo board without worrying about the "cross contamination" that used to have me on edge any time I cooked meats--chicken in particular. I've got a lot more room in the freezer as well, so now I can prepare large quantities of my veggie delights and freeze them for later use. Although I used to eat meat and enjoy it quite a lot, that hadn't been the case for quite a while before I completely stopped, so the first week of being meat free has been incredibly easy. Not only have I not missed it, but I feel much better already. I wasn't tempted even a single time the entire week, and I know that I won't be in the future either : )

I'm sure I'll have more meat relapse dreams... maybe around holidays or when I'm visiting family. Just like my familiar old alcoholic drunk dreams, I'll awaken with relief, resolve, and renewed faith that have made very wise choices in leaving those things behind.

Vegetarian Adventure : ))

Tomorrow, September 14, 2009, I'm beginning an adventurous new phase of my life as a vegetarian! I'm really excited about this for three reasons. First, I will know that I'm no longer participating the cruel, painful, murderous treatment of animals just so that I can enjoy a meal. Second, I won't contributing the the environmental devastation that goes along with the production and distribution of meat and egg products. And third, I know for certain, and from experience, that I feel physically much better when I'm eating a vegetarian diet!

This decision has been a long time in the making.... probably way back when my dear friend, Sheri Ann Ingraham (McManus), first told me that she was a vegetarian over two decades ago. She explained that she didn't eat meat because she couldn't stand the thought of killing an animal or eating dead creatures. Back then, and since then, I know I have teased her, made fun of her, taunted her, and tried to tempt her to eat meat all the while knowing that she was right. I just didn't want to admit it or give up something that I really enjoyed back then. Well... SHE WAS RIGHT, AND I KNEW IT ALL ALONG. Later on in life, another friend, Kris Ryan Stallard, attempted to become a vegetarian and met with the same pathetic treatment from yours truly. I think that I teased him out of my own shame and sense of hostility toward something that I didn't want to admit was right. While on the Alaska Hay House cruise in July, I met an extraordinarily cool set of pair bonded vegetarians (sometimes they bond just like love birds in the wild ; ) ), Jeff Sumber and Kari Snick. They were a sparkling inspiration to me, although I might have teased them too! I'd like to take this opportunity to thank all of the vegetarians who have ever shared with me their experience, strength, and hope. Although I was much slower to come around, I'm very glad that I have, and I thank you for your positive influence in my life! I'd also like to apologize to Sheri, Ryan, and any other vegetarians that I may have teased in the past. That was the best I could do at that time, and I'm sorry! I will not act that way any more, and now you ALL have the satisfaction of being able to say, "I told you so!" : ))

Since late last year I've been much more aware of my physical body and the way it reacts to things that I put into it. I can feel, taste, smell, everything much more intensely than I've ever been able to in the past. Along with these enhanced physical sensations now come emotional reactions and intuitive feelings. Eating meat has quite simply become revolting to me. I think that I was quite literally tasting the cruelty and suffering embodied in the dead animals that I was eating. Things that I used to love now make me almost nauseated when I try to eat them. First to produce this reaction was red meat. It has tasted bad to me for quite some time. Then I switched to pork and loved it for a while. After completing the Master Cleanse (previous post "Fasting - Day 1"), pork became almost impossible for me to choke down. I was still eating all of these, trying to reacquire a taste for SOME meat, but it just wasn't happening. All fowl began to taste foul!!! How the hell was that for a pun?!?! ; ) Recently I had my favorite dish at TeKei, one of my favorite Tulsa eateries. I was looking so forward to that duck, and it was a chore just to finish it. I was feigning excitement and enjoyment, but wasn't really feeling it. Three nights ago, I even got a drive through hamburger at Burger King. Forcing that down was really similar to smoking my last cigarette. I could remember how I used to enjoy it, but really felt nothing but revulsion. The last meat that was prepared in my home was a chicken curry that my dear friend Alan D'souza made over labor day weekend. It was wonderful and spicy, filled with coconut, pepper, and so many other amazing flavors that the sauce covered up the chicken flavor to a large extent. In spite of how good it was, I couldn't wait for it to be finished so that I could wash out the pot and get the meat out of my refrigerator! I hadn't cooked any meat for myself in a LONG time, and hadn't really even thought about that. It was happening at a level outside of my conscious mind. So I guess that I've been gradually transitioning to vegetarianism in my own home for a long while. Now it's time to make the switch to eating that way everywhere.

This is not a sociological experiment to find out how everyone is going to react to my new lifestyle choice. In the past, I've done things like change my hairstyle just to enjoy the various reactions. This is quite different. Although I know that the reactions to my vegetarianism will vary widely, I'm not doing this just to enjoy the reactions of those around me. Some will laugh, some will rejoice, some will deride, some will hate, some will sneer, some will be pissed off, some will understand, some will be bewildered, some may even cry, out of happiness or pain. I don't know and will not even attempt to predict how all of my loved ones will individually react to this choice. Although I will find it interesting to see everyones' reactions, these experiences are not at all part of my motivation to be vegetarian. They're simply an interesting side effect ; )

I know that in the past I selfishly felt annoyed by others' vegetarianism because I felt that it limited my choices for eating at different places. Some of the family and friends may feel like they'll be put out or have to work harder to feed me when I visit. Well, don't. My nourishment is not for you to worry about, and it hasn't been for a long time (Mom & Dad) : ) I will be quite fine feeding myself if what is prepared at your home has meat in it. I've become adept at preparing my own food and transporting it wherever I go. All of you have grocers within a reasonable distance, and if I want something different than what you're making, I'll go buy it and make it myself. Also, I will be able to find SOMETHING at almost any restaurant that you might want to frequent, although I will draw the line at fast food joints. I have not been eating at any of those for a long time anyway, so my future will not change at all in that respect.

I'm making this change in my life for myself primarily, but also for the benefit of the planet in general. If I stop eating so high up the food chain, others around the planet will have an easier time just eating. All of our actions produce effects that we generally don't even try to imagine, but which lately I have spent a good deal of time pondering. Much less fossil fuel will be burned for me to be fed. That one simple statement encompasses so much, that it's difficult to comprehend, but please try! Americans are approximately 5% of the world's population but use around 25% of the fossil fuels. Much of this use is due to production and transportation of animals and food products that contain them. If you are interested at all in understanding how food choices affect the environment, or if you need some help with this concept, look up things like "carbon footprint," or "fossil fuel food production" on google or wikipedia. Also, look into the amount of water and grain that it takes to force feed beef cattle, swine, and chickens in a way that is unhealthy and cruel to them, just for that piece of steak, rib, or hot wing. Or, don't. If you're uninterested in how your choices affect other creatures and humans on the planet, don't think about it. Don't look into it. Go glibly on with life as you've always known it. Although I don't personally believe the tired old adage that "Ignorance is bliss," I do know that it can be quite a comforting anesthetic to the consciousness.

There are many different types of vegetarian diets, and if you're interested, you can look them up online as well. The purest that I have found is "Raw Foodist Vegan." People following that diet eat no meat, dairy, or egg products of any kind, and also eat only uncooked foods. "Vegan" vegetarians exclude the same things, but do cook some of their foods. Some vegetarians are "lacto-ovo" vegetarians, and they include dairy and eggs in their diet, but no animal flesh that comes from a creature that has eyes. As for myself, I'm going to continue to eat some dairy for the time being. I will eat foods that contain eggs ONLY if I know where the eggs come from, and that they come from independent farm raised hens in which the hens roam free and are not in any sort of factory production line. The industrial process of obtaining eggs on a massive scale is simply a horror show. After reading this blog post and watching the YouTube video embedded in it, I made my final decision to give up eggs and meat:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2009/09/modern-day-nazis/

There is a family that lives just down the road from me, on my way to work, where I can get eggs in the future if I have any need for them. I will also be using this amazing resource :

http://www.oklahomafood.coop/

Then I'll know EXACTLY where much of my food comes from! : ) So, in summary, I will eat vegetables, fruits, legumes, roots, nuts, plant-derived oils and fats, grains, breads that I prepare, or breads that contain humanely raised eggs. I will also continue to eat dairy products for now. Eventually I might give that up, but I'm just not ready for that step yet, though I will be finding out where I can get dairy that isn't industrialized as soon as possible.

I'm really looking forward to experimenting with new recipes and cooking and preparing wholesome foods which will nourish not just my body, but also my mind and my soul! Sheri and I are already planning on sharing recipes and other info. I've also got my dear and amazing friend, Allison Blanchard, M.D., who's been growing much of her own food and actively participating in the Oklahoma Food Co-op for quite a while. She has also been quite an inspiration to me as well as being a phenomenal teacher and friend! : ) When Sheri and I were discussing my future of vegetarianism I told her that in a way giving up something that I've loved in the past is a process of mourning, much like giving up alcohol or cigarettes (both of which I've done). She brilliantly encouraged me to think of it not as a loss, but rather as a gain in health, exciting new eating choices, and a higher state of consciousness! Once again, she told me so : ))

This blog post is not an attempt to proselytize or convert anyone to vegetarianism. Mainly I'm trying to get my thoughts down in writing in an organized fashion so that I don't have to explain my decision and life choice so thoroughly dozens of times! My choice to live as a vegetarian is for me and the benefit of all sentient beings on the planet Earth. How others chose to use or not use my experiences and the knowledge of my experiences is entirely up to them, and I hereby relieve myself of any need or desire to change anyone in any way--including their dietary choices. I will not preach the gospel of vegan, or attempt to coerce or shame anyone into not eating meat. Invariably I will be asked to explain why I don't eat meat. If someone asks a question, I will answer it honestly, possibly replying that I've already fulfilled my lifetime quota of meat, or I will get lazy and simply refer them to this blog for the explanation : )

New Career Chapter

Next Wednesday I'll begin practicing medicine in Coweta Oklahoma at a Family Practice Clinic known as Winn Family Practice. I had the privilege of doing five days of locum tenens (temp work for doctors) there at the end of June for my friend, Shawna McCalip, M.D., who is the managing physician. Shawna and I worked together in the ER at Muskogee Regional Medical Center before we both burned out on ER. Shawna is apparently a lot tougher than I am, as she had been doing it for over ten years. I lasted shortly less than four. I'm absolutely thrilled to have this opportunity to start practicing medicine in a clinic setting where I can focus on helping people to heal in a holistic way. The word "doctor" does not mean, "He who passes out a pill to make you feel better." It really means "teacher," from the latin 'docare' -- to teach. I will focus on teaching my patients, giving them the information so that they can, if they wish, make choices in their lives which can lead to vibrant, lasting health.

When patients come to me for whatever reason, I will address their immediate problems; however, I will also take the opportunity to inquire of them, "What are your goals for healthcare? Do you want to feel really good, or do you just want me to try to fix a problem so that you feel a little less bad for the time being?" Depending on their answers, I will work with them to meet their goals. If they just want a problem fixed, I'll do my best to help them achieve that goal. If they really want to feel good, we will work on that together. I will attempt to share my experience, strength, hope, and knowledge with patients to help empower them. I'd like to teach them ways to heal themselves as whole human beings--mind, body, and spirit. I am convinced that If people are healthy mentally and spiritually, then they will be physically as well. Where the mind and spirit go, so will the body follow. DIS-EASE will melt away, to be replaced with good physical health--if only people are happy and at peace : ) Over the past few years, I've learned a few things about peace, serenity, joy, happiness, and good health. I can not wait to be able to share these things with my patients in this new clinic, working alongside my friend and colleague, Dr. Shawna McCalip : )

Bon Voyage

Recently I returned from one of the best voyages of my life! The main purpose of the trip was a writers' workshop on a cruise ship, which was sponsored by Hay House Publishing. Not only did I get to learn copious amounts of stuff about writing, publishing, and marketing books, but I was able to do so in style on the HAL Amsterdam, sailing through the inland passage of Alaska. To top it all off, I was blessed once again to be able to spend time with my dear friend Wendy in one of my favorite places in the world--Vancouver, BC, Canada : ) She's the Canadian angel who put up with me for over a week in her luxury, 25th floor, downtown Vancouver Apartment. Without her, I might have gotten complacent and purchased a one-week transportation pass, but OH NO!!!!!! We biked or walked EVERYWHERE, and I'm much the healthier and fitter for it :-)) Many thanks also to my friend, David, who put me up on the outbound and return legs of the trip, stored my car, took me to and from the airport, and even lent me his silk jacket to wear to formal dinners on the cruise. It was his incredible four-wheeled suitcase that helped me to sail through airports, the cruise ship, Victoria Harbor, busses, border crossings, and many sidewalks.

I took a bus from Vancouver to Seattle and made my first ever bus border crossing. These particular busses are only licensed to make cross border trips between the Canada and the US, and they have it down to a fine art. There were two different groups of cruise passengers on one bus, each group bound for a different ship in Seattle. The folks on the Hay House "I Can Do It" cruise on the Amsterdam got on first. After driving for about 20 minutes we stopped at a highway truck stop / convenience store and picked up the passengers bound for the the other boat. About 20 minutes later we were at the border crossing. Everyone had to take everything they owned off the bus and through the security screening and border control where they checked passports, visas, etc. The whole process took less than thirty minutes from the time we arrived until we were pulling out of the border crossing, which was more efficient than I had expected. The drive down the coast to seattle was mountainous, beautiful, and perfectly comfortable in the bus. Along the way I met several nice folks, and a lovely couple from Chicago with whom I later got much better acquainted on the boat. Shout out to Jeff & Kari!!! ; )

After snaking my way through the line for about an hour and 1/2, I boarded the Holland America Lines Amsterdam. Each of HAL's ships are named after some place in Holland, and their names all end in "dam." My big suitcase was checked in and arrived a couple hours later outside the stateroom door; that's what they're called - staterooms. My stateroom was 2705, very near the aft / starboard (back /right) part of the ship. This was a great location, as it afforded easy access to the rear deck and a stairwell which led up to the 3rd floor "promenade" deck on which one could walk around the entire ship and be outside in the fresh ocean air. It also forced me to walk great distances to get to the workshops which were all in the forward part of the ship. Soon after boarding, I met my roommate, Steve. We got along fabulously, and I felt that I hit the roommate jackpot with him! Right after meeting we had to rush up to the 3rd floor promenade deck with our lifejackets on for a mandatory lifeboat drill, which lasted about fifteen minutes. I felt better knowing how to don the life preservers and get to the right place, just in case. I was assigned to early dinner at 5:30, so I got dressed (pants and button down shirt) and had the first of an amazing array of exquisite meals. Cruise ships are quite simply food paradise. That evening was the first session of the writers' workshop, presented by Reid Tracy, head publisher of Hay House. All in all it was an amazing first day.

The rest of the cruise was simply out of this world. Never in my wildest dreams could I have ever imagined the writers' workshop being any better--a separate blog post just on that topic later. I chose one shore excursion for the first port of call, Juneau Alaska. Having come on this trip mainly for the writers' workshop, I decided to take it easy the rest of the time and not to try to do a thousand different things. As it turned out, I only left the ship that one time in Juneau before disembarking at the final port of call in Victoria, B.C. The energy on this ship was phenomenal! People were generally enthusiastic, friendly, easy going, and happy. Every day I exercised, as it was so easy to integrate that into the routine. The entertainment in the evenings was also fantastic. The two shows I attended were comedienne, Julie Barr, and The Texas Tenors. Julie was an absolute riot, and the Tenors were stupendous! Just being on the ship was pleasurable; with the continuous, underlying thrum of the engines in the background and the gentle rocking of the ship, I felt like I was right back in the womb : ) As a matter of fact, I really missed that once I was back on land. The cruise was a top-notch experience!

My one shore excursion was a whale watching trip in Juneau. We took a bus from the port downtown to another dock about 15 minutes away. Along the way we had a great view of the Mendenhahl Glacier, which was named for a glaciologist who never actually saw it in his lifetime. Our whale watching boat was perfectly equipped for the occasion with panoramic six-foot high windows all around the inside, an open deck topside, and a buffet dinner with salmon mousse, roast beef, shrimp cocktail, fruits, breads, pastries....a feast fit for a king (or a queen) ; ) Within minutes of leaving the dock we began seeing the whales spouting in the distance, geysers of mist shooting up from the surface, humped backs undulating slowly. Everyone was waiting with baited breath to get a photo of the tail. Of the fifteen or so shots that I took, two were good tail shots and one was of the whale breaching--jumping partly up out of the water. The humpback whales can be up to fifty feet long and weigh a bunch of tons. Most of the pics that I took of them just looked like a hump sticking out of the water, hence the name I guess. I don't know if they have humps all the time, or if they just arch their backs as they get ready to dive down. Their backs may not be humped at all for all I know. If they saw me doing Bikram Yoga, they might think of me as a humpback person? These whales come to Alaska to feed during the summer and then back to Hawaii for the winter season, so they get the best of both worlds as well as claiming two of the most scenic of the United States as their homes! I'm glad that I got to see them hanging out in their native environment as opposed to in some cage or side show, doing tricks in San Antonio or San Diego for the amusement of people. I wonder how the two respective saints for whom those cities were named would feel about whales being kept there for human entertainment purposes? I also got to see some seals sunning themselves on a buoy near where the whales were frolicking. There were about four of them lying on the flat part of the buoy about 3 feet above the water. Some of the others swimming around the buoy seemed to want to get up, but the ones already there were having none of that! They'd bat the others back dow, arch their backs high, act as if they were going to jump down, then flop back onto their buoy bed as if to say, "Boy, it sure is nice up here on this buoy.... must suck to be down there in the water!" On the way back to the dock we saw some bald eagles up in the pine trees. It was exciting seeing them, but honestly the view of the birds is really better on a 52 inch LCD screen ; )

I've got a lot more to tell about this trip, but this is enough for one post. I think I'll do a separate post just on the writing workshop and another just on the Victoria and Vancouver part of the trip. As always, any and all criticism and/or suggestions are welcome!

Fasting - Update (and conclusion)

I was able to use the "Master Cleanser" fast for a total of seven days, from the time I woke up on Monday, June 15, until I went to bed Sunday night, June 21. During that time I consumed only the lemon juice, agave, cayenne mixture (stuff) and/or water. On days 1, 2, and 6 I also used the salt water cleanse which thoroughly cleans out the colon in short order! The last time that I did the salt water there was only one trip to the commode. By the end of the seventh day, I felt that my mind/body/spirit had been sufficiently purified, and I made plans to stock up on fruit juices to transition back to eating again the next morning, Monday, June 22.

While fasting I was able to do my housework, hang out with friends, attend my classes at the School of Metaphysics, do yoga, meditate, and go to work in the emergency room for two shifts. Several times I attended meals with friends and watched them eat while I sipped at my stuff, or a glass of water. That was DAMN tough! A couple times, I wanted to dive across the table and land face first in my friends' plates... but i didn't. Some people asked, "So, you can't eat ANYTHING?!?!?", to which I replied, "I can, but I choose not to." I don't really have the words in any language to describe the looks on their faces when they heard that, but suffice it to say, it was priceless : ) Early on it was more difficult, as my stomach churned almost constantly, wanting SOMETHING, ANYTHING to digest, but that didn't last long. I had guidance from Wendy and Jack, who suggested that I just drink more of the stuff to avoid hunger. That worked like a charm. Most of the time I was not hungry at all. I did have to pee a lot more frequently, but not as often on the "number 2" without any solid food.

I'm happy to report that my fast was a success in several respects. First, I felt very in tune with my body. I was much more consciously aware of all sensations. Smells were much more fragrant, colors more vibrant, sounds more resonant -- or sometimes dissonant! Second, I felt much more calm in general. Equanimity was the buzzword for me during the fast. My meditations immediately became much more placid, with fewer random thoughts intruding or interrupting the peace. An example of this was actually quantifiable numerically by the candle meditation exercise that I do daily. While staring at a candle flame for ten minutes each day, sitting upright, feet flat on the floor, pencil in hand, I make a mark each time my attention wanders away from the candle flame, or rather, just as I direct my attention back TO the flame. Before starting the fast, I was recording marks in the mid thirties. On Tuesday morning after beginning the fast Monday, my attention only wandered fifteen times from the flame -- only HALF of the number of distracting thoughts. This trend continued throughout the week. Third, I simply felt healthier. I realized that everything that I put in my body has a direct effect on how I feel and how my body functions. As my body released waste, junk, toxins, etc, I began to realize that it's very important to choose carefully what I consume from now on. Last, but not least, I lost a few pounds, and in the process, my stomach shrunk. This will be beneficial in helping to save money and continue to lose weight as my overall health improves.

Monday morning I began easing out of the fasting state with some pure fruit juices. Holy cow... talk about sweet! I felt like I was drinking pancake syrup, after having consumed only the stuff for a week. I bought an orange mango mixture and already had a natural organic apple cider in the fridge. Both were quite yummy, but I could only take small amounts at a time. The first food that I tried out that morning was the "Tribe" brand hummus from Reasor's Grocery. I read the label actually looking for something in particular... and there it was, big as Dallas. ***SUGAR*** With a heightened sense of taste, for the first time ever, I actually noted it in the hummus. Seems it's put into most processed foods nowadays to get us to eat more of them. Well, fool me once, shame on you.... fool me twice, shame on me! I'll be making my own hummus from now on, thank you very much ; )

At lunch time that day, I gingerly experimented with solid food. I had four chilled shrimp with cocktail sauce, two small spears of asparagus, and a bite of sweet potato. The shrimp tasted OK, but I didn't really enjoy them at all. The asparagus was tasty, but overly salty. For those of you that know me, you'll realize how significant it is for ME to say something is too salty ; ) The sweet potatoes tasted like butter and sugar swirled together with orange color and a little cinnamon. By the end of the meal, I felt a little bit let down, thinking, "So, THIS is what I've been missing? Should have stayed on the fast...." It's not that the food that they serve in the doctors' lounge isn't good. It's just that after clearing out my system so well, my tongue is much more discerning! I also ate three plums, perfectly ripened, and a banana, which was a little bit on the green side. Later that evening, I had some of the left over home made lasagna that my friend Jaemie made and left for me. Now THAT tasted great! I relished every flavor in it, from the different kinds of cheese, to the texture of the pasta, to the amazing sauce and spices : )) Strong work, Jaemie!!!

I didn't exactly follow the instructions of the "Master Cleanser" book in reintegrating foods, as it recommends having only fruit juices for a whole day, then adding a few bites of fruit the next day, then salads the day after, and never EVER returning to eating toxic, dead animals EVER EVER EVER again! Well, I was ready for some food, and I ate. Furthermore, I'm not quite prepared to become a raw-foodist, vegan just yet! I also didn't use the recommended maple syrup in the mixture, instead substituting agave syrup for most of the fast. I did have enough maple on hand to make one batch of stuff, and it was tasty, but a little too sweet for me personally. The agave worked better for me. Seven days felt like enough, rather than the recommended ten in the book. As I had already been eating very healthily since late December, I felt well cleansed after that time period rather than the entire ten days that were recommended.

In conclusion, I fasted for seven days. My body felt somehow lighter, as did my mind and my spirit. My preparation for dietary intake for each two day period took only about an hour, which drastically simplified life. I lost a bit of weight. I got into closer conscious contact with myself, Source, and my everyday reality. I'm glad I did it, and I'll do it again someday when I feel the need for a physical and spiritual boost : )