Ebb and Flow

Just as the sun, the moon, the seasons, and the tides rise and fall, so do my levels of energy, serenity, motivation, and health. Recently I've been on the upswing on all levels. I think this is due to the realization that it is time to transition to another phase in my life which does not include Oklahoma or Emergency Medicine. The Louise Hay video "You Can Heal Your Life" has really jump started everything!

A few weeks ago I came down with the latest GI bug that was going around. That afternoon I noticed that my stomach was aching a bit, so I went to bed. At 4:00pm I had to run to the toilet, beginning the 48 hour stretch of the trots. Fortunately there was no vomiting. I was able to make it into town to get the same supplies that I prescribe to my patients (or to my patients' parents to get for them). The B.R.A.T. diet -- Bananas, Rice, Apple sauce, Toast. I got four liters of pedialyte, not knowing how long I would be ill. Just as I was checking out with my supplies, I noticed there was a pharmacy in Reasors... WOO HOO! That meant I was able to prescribe myself a great anti-nausea medicine which must have worked, as I didn't puke a single time...DOUBLE WOO HOO!! Got home and began the process of healing. Very little food, two liters of pedialyte, and lots of rest did the trick. It's interesting to observe the processes of my body, mind, and spirit during an illness. With a few years of spiritual training under my belt, the self pity was at a bare minimum. Also distinctly absent was any blame of anyone who might have "given me the bug." I was oddly happy and peaceful in spite of the frequent trips to the toilet, the stomach cramps, the weakness, and the all over body aches. By Wednesday, I could feel my guts slowing their churning and my strength gradually returning. Fortunately, my hunger did not return to it's previous levels, nor did the size of my stomach, so I've been able to cut WAY back on the amount of food I need to stave off hunger pains. TRIPLE WOO HOO!!! It seems that the probiotic kefir really helped a great deal.

Since recovering from "the bug," I've been eating a much healthier diet which includes several servings of fresh, raw fruits and veggies and virtually no sugar or refined flour. In keeping with the new good habit of using positive affirmations to make positive changes in my life, I frequently repeat the following to myself, "I only eat and drink healthy things, because I feel SO MUCH better when I do!" That one simple little phrase makes all the difference in the world in my emotions and my behaviors regarding what I consume! The temptation to eat junk food is simply gone--like a piece of trash blowing past my consciousness carried away by a stiff wind. Nowadays crappy, processed, unhealthy food tastes revolting. I can't even force myself to consume it, nor do I want to, providing I continue my positive new mantra, "I only eat and drink healthy things...."

I've also been using this mental, emotional, verbal, psychic, magic trick on myself since around December 20, 2008 to stay smoke free. If I find myself wanting a cigarette, I say to myself, "I only breathe clean air because I feel SO MUCH better when I do!" This little ditty is the absolute God's honest truth. When I say it, I am in no way blowing the proverbial smoke up my own ass ; ) It also contains zero negativity, and the words "smoke" or "cigarette" are nowhere in the statement. For the past two and a half years, since relapsing on cigarettes, I'd been trying to quit smoking, but had been using the wrong language for success on myself...saying things like, "I want to quit smoking," or "I need to quit smoking," or "Smoking's bad for me," or worst of all, "I LOVE to smoke, but should quit." With such words going through my mind and coming out of my mouth, it was no wonder that I kept smoking since all I was saying was, "SMOKE, SMOKE, SMOKE" in combination with some negative phrases. Now, using the positive language and eliminating the offending word, the obsession has been lifted. Thanks Atman! (see the Bhagavad-Gita or wikipedia for explanation of "Atman").

Of course just like everything, the motivation to continue this ebbs and flows. It takes continuous effort and renewed commitment just to be able to speak to myself positively in this way on a daily basis. Something that helps me with this is daily meditation and reconnecting to Source frequently via AA meetings.

I've no idea if any of this makes any sense to anyone else, but it does to me. Seems like it's helping me to write about things from time to time as well : )