About 30 minutes ago I woke up to the sound of metal scraping somewhere in front of me. "It's the mail slot... somebody's putting mail through the door," I thought. But it kept happening, every few seconds. "Mail doesn't come that much," floated through my consciousness... followed by, "It's windy... making the mail slot open and close," as I gradually became more lucid, then fully awake, I knew that it wasn't the mail slot at all, but rather a piece of metal scraping against the cement of the building somewhere outside of my current home. It's 02:55 now as I start writing this.
Soon after the scraping metal woke me up, and I realized what it was, the other thoughts started. I began to go through the alphabet...
A -- Allan? no
B -- Brian? Ben? Barry? no
C -- Chris? Cary? no
All the way through the rest of the alphabet.... still not there.
I couldn't remember his name, although I had a very vivid recollection of every other word we spoke to one another at Mellriche's Coffee Shop on Davie Street last night. Also readily available were the striking combination of visual details in his appearance and demeanor. Above his right elbow a sort of stretchy fabric arm band, "What is that?" Bright yellow on a blue background the next time he passed by my table, "Oh, it's Sponge Bob! I never did get Sponge Bob at all, even after watching a whole DVD of him. Maybe one or two light chuckles the whole disc!" On the back of his form fitting white t-shirt the bright red lettering, "KAREN." His curley dark brown (black?) hair spills out from under a small stocking cap, framing his kind face. Dark eyes, tan complexion, and it goes without saying, perfectly white teeth in the most loving and beautiful smile I've seen in this city-of-several-million people. About twenty years old, slim and feline as he casually stretches while visiting with another patron of the shop. Every bit of his clothing clings to him, revealing a perfectly healthy, supple body. Appreciation of the visual beauty of this physical form, but no lust here, not any more than there was when I saw the Venus de Milo at the Louvre four years ago.
Overhearing him mention living in Montreal, I decided to ask him about this experience. And NO! Not as you're probably thinking, to flirt. It was because I already knew, deep within, that he would be able to give a meaningful account of the experience. "Maybe I'll try Montreal for a few years, some day?" floated through my mind. His very presence was something that, up to this point a month into my time in this city-of-several-million, I had encountered very little of... presence. I knew that he would tell me what it was truly like to be in Montreal. He said that it was really great, but that it was SO different from Vancouver. That most all of the people he went to school with there were really into business and were very busy. That all of them were working so hard to start businesses, and that small, independent businesses are good! But they weren't really taking any time to really enjoy anything. "Like standing on a street corner and just looking at something! They'd all probably think I was crazy if they saw me doing that!" Then he had to go wait on another customer.
Phillip came to meet me for a coffee before the 8:00 pm meeting that he was taking me to. We hadn't seen each other for several days, but as usual we picked right up. With Phillip it's like the communication just happens naturally and the words are just a formality that we go through out of habit, since we're both humans this time around, and that's how most humans communicate. We had our coffees and got up to head toward the meeting. Looking around, I was somewhat disappointed that I didn't see him. "He's probably in the bathroom," which we passed on the way out the back door to get to the truck. Still raining... "I won't get that wet between here and the truck," as I decided not to open the big rainbow umbrella. Too much trouble to wrap it all up and velcro it again after only fifty feet to the vehicle. "Oh... there he is." Smoking a cigarette. A slight twinge of sadness, at the knowledge of the physical costs, but then happiness, because I KNOW that he's actually enjoying this cigarette!
"Hey! My name's Eric." : ))
"Nice to meet you, Eric! I'm _________" (Jesus! How could I have possibly forgotten his name?!?!)
"Have a great evening!"
"You as well!" : )) "Hope to see you here again sometime!"
"Oh yeah, I'll be back for sure!"
He's almost certainly straight, I think. This is not flirtation at all, but rather something completely unexpected and almost overwhelming to me. He LOVES me... but not just me... he loves everyone and everything around him at all times. He already is, at the tender age of twenty-something, that which I aspire to be -- pure love. And he's here for the same reason that I am! WOO HOO!!!! It is all so clear to me now at 3:51 am. This is what I'm here to do. Just BE... LOVE... NOW !!!
At all times!
With all people!
In all situations!
BE LOVE NOW !!!!
BE! As in be fully present, aware, the pure, unadulaterated, universal consciousness, the whole of which we are all beautifully individuated parts!!! No thoughts, no judgements, no worries, no regrets, none of that background noise that catches the attention of THE consciousness, which we all truly are. Just BE.
LOVE! This is a verb, which words are actually inadequate to describe, but let's give it a try. It's what we do every time we see a friend, or a baby, or a puppy, or a kitten, or a bunny rabbit, or a soaring eagle, or a spectacular sunset. It's what's happening when we enjoy a great big belly laugh. It's what's happening when we hug. It's what's happening when we smile. It's what's happening when we kiss. It's what's happening when we make love! This feeling, noun, verb, concept, emotion, sensation IS WHAT WE ARE at the core of our being!!! Unfortunately, it gets clouded over by our minds too much of the time, but when the mind begins to quiet, love starts to shine through more and more ; )
NOW! Is all that there is. It is always now. There IS NOTHING ELSE!!! The past exists only as a recollection in the mind. The future exists only as a projection in the mind. Now is all that ever has been, is, or will be. Now is where the presence, the consciousness, the joy, the love always occurs. The mind is never now. It is always either in the past or in the future. THE MIND IS NOT WHO OR WHAT WE ARE. It keeps us out of the gift, the present, the now. It is THE distraction which directs our attention, the consciousness that we are, away from the present moment. And guess what... the mind is the source and location of all suffering. Entire volumes have been written on this, and I used to understand it intellectually, with the thinking mind. But, more and more each day, I know this truth, because I'm spending more time in the true, natural state of my being, and the mind is falling away. Yes, thank God.... I'm losing my mind : )) And more and more of the time, NOW I AM LOVE!
This is it. What all the beloved masters have tried to share throughout the ages by their very presence. The only thing that they did, the only thing that they taught, the only thing that they wanted for each and every one of us was to BE LOVE NOW!!!
This is the first thing I've written since I came to Vancouver. It far surpasses any and all importance of any books i might write on health and wellness. It captures the essence of why I'm even here on this planet at this point in the third dimensional space / time continuum. This is my "job." This is who I AM. I am here to BE LOVE NOW!!! : ))
Thanks for reading!
Namaste,
Eric : )
ps: so much more has gone into bringing me to this point in my journey, and much more can and will be written in the future to correlate with tonight's experience and emotion; however, it's 4:38 am, and I will be practicing Bikram Yoga in less than two hours, so stay tuned : )
