Meat Relapse Dream

Fascinating what the mind will come up with in the middle of the night! A night or two ago I dreamed that I was chewing on something that tasted very bad, had a horrible texture, and was tightly stuck in my throat. I thought, "What the hell is this I'm eating?!?!" Then I looked at what I had in my hand and realized it was a chicken sandwich, like what one would get at a Chick-filet fast food grease bin. I was at once shocked, disappointed and disgusted, wondering how and why I had picked up a chicken sandwich, let alone begun to eat it. Then I decided to spit out what was left in my mouth and choke down what was still in my throat, resolving to be more careful in my future food choices.

Dreams of this type are not unfamiliar to me. I've been having them for years since I had my last drink of alcohol. I'll be in mid swig when I realize what's going on and the feelings that I have in these "drunk dreams" are exactly like what I had in the meat relapse dream the other night. I'm always terribly surprised and disappointed that I've messed up; however, invariably my resolve to continue on down the right path is steadfast. I feel about eating meat much the same as I do about drinking alcohol. It is a thing of the past for me. Not only do I not miss it, but I'm truly thrilled about my future life without it!

Stopping the consumption of meat is not a loss for me at all, but rather an opportunity to fully explore and delight in the bounty and variety of vegetarian cuisine : ) Browsing the produce section is way more fun than I ever imagined it could be; furthermore, I'm now unconcerned about getting my hands covered in scary bacteria like I used to be when shopping in the meat section. Same goes for my cutting board. I'm pitching the old one that I used for meat and happily slicing, dicing, and cutting all my fruits and veggies on my new bamboo board without worrying about the "cross contamination" that used to have me on edge any time I cooked meats--chicken in particular. I've got a lot more room in the freezer as well, so now I can prepare large quantities of my veggie delights and freeze them for later use. Although I used to eat meat and enjoy it quite a lot, that hadn't been the case for quite a while before I completely stopped, so the first week of being meat free has been incredibly easy. Not only have I not missed it, but I feel much better already. I wasn't tempted even a single time the entire week, and I know that I won't be in the future either : )

I'm sure I'll have more meat relapse dreams... maybe around holidays or when I'm visiting family. Just like my familiar old alcoholic drunk dreams, I'll awaken with relief, resolve, and renewed faith that have made very wise choices in leaving those things behind.

Vegetarian Adventure : ))

Tomorrow, September 14, 2009, I'm beginning an adventurous new phase of my life as a vegetarian! I'm really excited about this for three reasons. First, I will know that I'm no longer participating the cruel, painful, murderous treatment of animals just so that I can enjoy a meal. Second, I won't contributing the the environmental devastation that goes along with the production and distribution of meat and egg products. And third, I know for certain, and from experience, that I feel physically much better when I'm eating a vegetarian diet!

This decision has been a long time in the making.... probably way back when my dear friend, Sheri Ann Ingraham (McManus), first told me that she was a vegetarian over two decades ago. She explained that she didn't eat meat because she couldn't stand the thought of killing an animal or eating dead creatures. Back then, and since then, I know I have teased her, made fun of her, taunted her, and tried to tempt her to eat meat all the while knowing that she was right. I just didn't want to admit it or give up something that I really enjoyed back then. Well... SHE WAS RIGHT, AND I KNEW IT ALL ALONG. Later on in life, another friend, Kris Ryan Stallard, attempted to become a vegetarian and met with the same pathetic treatment from yours truly. I think that I teased him out of my own shame and sense of hostility toward something that I didn't want to admit was right. While on the Alaska Hay House cruise in July, I met an extraordinarily cool set of pair bonded vegetarians (sometimes they bond just like love birds in the wild ; ) ), Jeff Sumber and Kari Snick. They were a sparkling inspiration to me, although I might have teased them too! I'd like to take this opportunity to thank all of the vegetarians who have ever shared with me their experience, strength, and hope. Although I was much slower to come around, I'm very glad that I have, and I thank you for your positive influence in my life! I'd also like to apologize to Sheri, Ryan, and any other vegetarians that I may have teased in the past. That was the best I could do at that time, and I'm sorry! I will not act that way any more, and now you ALL have the satisfaction of being able to say, "I told you so!" : ))

Since late last year I've been much more aware of my physical body and the way it reacts to things that I put into it. I can feel, taste, smell, everything much more intensely than I've ever been able to in the past. Along with these enhanced physical sensations now come emotional reactions and intuitive feelings. Eating meat has quite simply become revolting to me. I think that I was quite literally tasting the cruelty and suffering embodied in the dead animals that I was eating. Things that I used to love now make me almost nauseated when I try to eat them. First to produce this reaction was red meat. It has tasted bad to me for quite some time. Then I switched to pork and loved it for a while. After completing the Master Cleanse (previous post "Fasting - Day 1"), pork became almost impossible for me to choke down. I was still eating all of these, trying to reacquire a taste for SOME meat, but it just wasn't happening. All fowl began to taste foul!!! How the hell was that for a pun?!?! ; ) Recently I had my favorite dish at TeKei, one of my favorite Tulsa eateries. I was looking so forward to that duck, and it was a chore just to finish it. I was feigning excitement and enjoyment, but wasn't really feeling it. Three nights ago, I even got a drive through hamburger at Burger King. Forcing that down was really similar to smoking my last cigarette. I could remember how I used to enjoy it, but really felt nothing but revulsion. The last meat that was prepared in my home was a chicken curry that my dear friend Alan D'souza made over labor day weekend. It was wonderful and spicy, filled with coconut, pepper, and so many other amazing flavors that the sauce covered up the chicken flavor to a large extent. In spite of how good it was, I couldn't wait for it to be finished so that I could wash out the pot and get the meat out of my refrigerator! I hadn't cooked any meat for myself in a LONG time, and hadn't really even thought about that. It was happening at a level outside of my conscious mind. So I guess that I've been gradually transitioning to vegetarianism in my own home for a long while. Now it's time to make the switch to eating that way everywhere.

This is not a sociological experiment to find out how everyone is going to react to my new lifestyle choice. In the past, I've done things like change my hairstyle just to enjoy the various reactions. This is quite different. Although I know that the reactions to my vegetarianism will vary widely, I'm not doing this just to enjoy the reactions of those around me. Some will laugh, some will rejoice, some will deride, some will hate, some will sneer, some will be pissed off, some will understand, some will be bewildered, some may even cry, out of happiness or pain. I don't know and will not even attempt to predict how all of my loved ones will individually react to this choice. Although I will find it interesting to see everyones' reactions, these experiences are not at all part of my motivation to be vegetarian. They're simply an interesting side effect ; )

I know that in the past I selfishly felt annoyed by others' vegetarianism because I felt that it limited my choices for eating at different places. Some of the family and friends may feel like they'll be put out or have to work harder to feed me when I visit. Well, don't. My nourishment is not for you to worry about, and it hasn't been for a long time (Mom & Dad) : ) I will be quite fine feeding myself if what is prepared at your home has meat in it. I've become adept at preparing my own food and transporting it wherever I go. All of you have grocers within a reasonable distance, and if I want something different than what you're making, I'll go buy it and make it myself. Also, I will be able to find SOMETHING at almost any restaurant that you might want to frequent, although I will draw the line at fast food joints. I have not been eating at any of those for a long time anyway, so my future will not change at all in that respect.

I'm making this change in my life for myself primarily, but also for the benefit of the planet in general. If I stop eating so high up the food chain, others around the planet will have an easier time just eating. All of our actions produce effects that we generally don't even try to imagine, but which lately I have spent a good deal of time pondering. Much less fossil fuel will be burned for me to be fed. That one simple statement encompasses so much, that it's difficult to comprehend, but please try! Americans are approximately 5% of the world's population but use around 25% of the fossil fuels. Much of this use is due to production and transportation of animals and food products that contain them. If you are interested at all in understanding how food choices affect the environment, or if you need some help with this concept, look up things like "carbon footprint," or "fossil fuel food production" on google or wikipedia. Also, look into the amount of water and grain that it takes to force feed beef cattle, swine, and chickens in a way that is unhealthy and cruel to them, just for that piece of steak, rib, or hot wing. Or, don't. If you're uninterested in how your choices affect other creatures and humans on the planet, don't think about it. Don't look into it. Go glibly on with life as you've always known it. Although I don't personally believe the tired old adage that "Ignorance is bliss," I do know that it can be quite a comforting anesthetic to the consciousness.

There are many different types of vegetarian diets, and if you're interested, you can look them up online as well. The purest that I have found is "Raw Foodist Vegan." People following that diet eat no meat, dairy, or egg products of any kind, and also eat only uncooked foods. "Vegan" vegetarians exclude the same things, but do cook some of their foods. Some vegetarians are "lacto-ovo" vegetarians, and they include dairy and eggs in their diet, but no animal flesh that comes from a creature that has eyes. As for myself, I'm going to continue to eat some dairy for the time being. I will eat foods that contain eggs ONLY if I know where the eggs come from, and that they come from independent farm raised hens in which the hens roam free and are not in any sort of factory production line. The industrial process of obtaining eggs on a massive scale is simply a horror show. After reading this blog post and watching the YouTube video embedded in it, I made my final decision to give up eggs and meat:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2009/09/modern-day-nazis/

There is a family that lives just down the road from me, on my way to work, where I can get eggs in the future if I have any need for them. I will also be using this amazing resource :

http://www.oklahomafood.coop/

Then I'll know EXACTLY where much of my food comes from! : ) So, in summary, I will eat vegetables, fruits, legumes, roots, nuts, plant-derived oils and fats, grains, breads that I prepare, or breads that contain humanely raised eggs. I will also continue to eat dairy products for now. Eventually I might give that up, but I'm just not ready for that step yet, though I will be finding out where I can get dairy that isn't industrialized as soon as possible.

I'm really looking forward to experimenting with new recipes and cooking and preparing wholesome foods which will nourish not just my body, but also my mind and my soul! Sheri and I are already planning on sharing recipes and other info. I've also got my dear and amazing friend, Allison Blanchard, M.D., who's been growing much of her own food and actively participating in the Oklahoma Food Co-op for quite a while. She has also been quite an inspiration to me as well as being a phenomenal teacher and friend! : ) When Sheri and I were discussing my future of vegetarianism I told her that in a way giving up something that I've loved in the past is a process of mourning, much like giving up alcohol or cigarettes (both of which I've done). She brilliantly encouraged me to think of it not as a loss, but rather as a gain in health, exciting new eating choices, and a higher state of consciousness! Once again, she told me so : ))

This blog post is not an attempt to proselytize or convert anyone to vegetarianism. Mainly I'm trying to get my thoughts down in writing in an organized fashion so that I don't have to explain my decision and life choice so thoroughly dozens of times! My choice to live as a vegetarian is for me and the benefit of all sentient beings on the planet Earth. How others chose to use or not use my experiences and the knowledge of my experiences is entirely up to them, and I hereby relieve myself of any need or desire to change anyone in any way--including their dietary choices. I will not preach the gospel of vegan, or attempt to coerce or shame anyone into not eating meat. Invariably I will be asked to explain why I don't eat meat. If someone asks a question, I will answer it honestly, possibly replying that I've already fulfilled my lifetime quota of meat, or I will get lazy and simply refer them to this blog for the explanation : )