Enjoying WHAT???

This post might cause some to question my sanity, but here goes! Some of you may have heard me say, "I'm going to drive this car till the wheels fall off." Well, as it turns out, that was a self-fulfilled prophecy. On Tuesday, November 27, 2009 someone ran a redlight and totaled my little BGAP (the Big Gay Activist Prius). I wasn't hurt at all, but alas, the BGAP was "totaled" by the insurance adjustors.

I was westbound on 7th street when a southbound car ran the red light at Elgin Street and struck me on the rear passenger door. Luckily the pavement was wet, I had a lot of forward momentum, and they struck me behind the center of the car (axis of rotation). This caused me to continue forward while spinning. I think I turned around about 3/4 of a turn in the middle of the four-lane street without hitting any other vehicles. The other car had it's front end smooshed in and to the right and the radiator busted all to hell. They were able to pull over to the side and didn't hit any other cars. Thankfully, nobody was hurt!

Here's where the story gets a little wierd and even crazy ; ) I saw the oncoming car just as I entered the intersection, and I'm pretty sure that the emotion, if not the actual words, "OH SHIT!!!!" passed through my mind. A split second later there was an explosive sound as the other car hit mine. Everything was moving in slow motion, just like I've always heard that it does from anyone who's ever been in a car wreck and remembered it. The BAMM from the impact was surprisingly brief...not at all as long as the sounds of car crashes in the movies. At some point I had started braking, maybe before or after the impact--I can't remember which. I realized that I was spinning by the motion of the scenery outside the car, as well as the insistant BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! of the anti-skid warning alarm and light on the dash. I looked at it and thought, "I know I'm fucking skidding!!!" and then started laughing, and thought to myself, "RELAX." Somehow I was able to purposefully and mindfully relax my entire body because I knew that tensing up would really exacerbate the later aches and pains. When I finally came to a stop every warning light on the dashboard was lit up. The passenger side curtain airbags were the only ones that had deployed, as they were on the side of the impact. My cell phone was cradled comfortably in it's usual spot in the console cup holder. Chuckling ironically, I called the office of the attorneys I was on the way to see about an upcoming deposition. I made the call quickly, then opened the door and was relieved to see the two passengers of the other car standing outside and looking OK. We called out to each other and made sure that all of us were alright, then waited for the police and the wrecker to arrive. The weird and crazy part of this whole thing was that I felt absolutely ZERO anger, frustration, anxiety, or any other negative emotions at all. I was simply filled with gratitude that all of us involved were alright. The other party completely admitted fault and was sited by the officer for running the red light. Unfortunately for them, their insurance had been canceled for non-payment a few months before, so my insurance company will end up going after them for it after they pay my claim. If I could afford to do so, I'd just pay it myself so that the other folks wouldn't have to go through all the trouble, as I'm sure that they can't afford it; however, I also can not afford to pay off what I still owe on the Prius or to get another car without the insurance settlement, so I'll have to file. If I won the lottery though, I'd just drop it and buy me another prius as well as one for the other folks. When I try to think about it logically, it doesn't make sense to me at all--that I feel worse for the people who were at fault than I do for myself, the actual victim of the accident. The only emotions that I can come up with are gratitude that nobody was seriously injured and sorrow for the others who appeared to be way less fortunate in life than I am.

Less than an hour after the impact I was in a FANCY Camry with heated leather seats and XM Radio, blasting the amazing, gay, dance club music : )) The wrecker had towed me directly to the Toyota collision center which had the Toyota car rental center next door. The folks at both places were super helpful. I went to an AA meeting, then went for my favorite Indian food at Kolam. From there I went on out to Coweta to see my practice partner, Shawna McCalip, MD to get checked out, documented, and treated for the soreness that was creeping up on me. I didn't have any serious pains yet, but my entire upper back was starting to tighten up and get a little achy and actually burning. The burning wasn't bad, just an odd sensation. Shawna was lucky enough to get to see my manly man hairy chest when she checked for seatbelt marks...lol :-P Everything checked out fine and I got a shot of toradol and my scripts for toradol tablets, flexeril (muscle relaxer), and medrol (steroid anti-inflamatory)called in to City Drug in Coweta. They had them ready WAY FASTER and at a MUCH better price than Walgreens! I got all three scripts for $17, which is what the giant corporate chain was going to charge for only one of them! I'll never fill one at walgreens again. After getting my meds I went back to Mary Ann's place in Tulsa because she has a Tempurpedic bed in the guest room for me to sleep on and a heat pad, which I didn't have at home and didn't really want to buy. We got a bite to eat and then both turned in for the evening. I ended up taking three tabs of toradol after the shot, only three of the flexeril. The last dose of each at 7:30 Wednesday morning, and I didn't even start the steroid does pack at all. I was feeling perfectly fine through the rest of the afternoon Wednesday, so called the office to let them know I'd be in to work on Thursday. I was VERY lucky to have come through such a collision with such minor injury!!!

I don't write about this experience to toot my own horn, to say how magnanimous I am, or anything like that. Rather, this post is more of a testament to the power, peace, serenity, and innumerable other benefits that I've received as a result of starting down a spiritual path almost nine years ago. When I put down the bottle and picked up "the program," my life began slowly but surely changing for the better, and it has never stopped improving. If it weren't for the program, I'd probably still be stewing, spewing, and downing the brewing in a vain attempt to kill the emotional pain. Not only have I been able to let go of any negativity associated with this accident, but I've also been able to handle it all very well with all of the complex details of paperwork that are involved in towing the car, arranging insurance claims, looking for another car, planning for the financial aspects, etc. Without the program, I'd have been a mess. Without the power of prayer and meditation, I'd have been lost. With the power of spirit, the program, prayer, and meditation I've enjoyed peace, serenity, focus, and strength in the midst of one of life's unexpected little storms. VERY strangely, I actually enjoyed the experience, as it was all completely new to me. For everything, I'm truly grateful : )