BE LOVE NOW !!! : ))

About 30 minutes ago I woke up to the sound of metal scraping somewhere in front of me. "It's the mail slot... somebody's putting mail through the door," I thought. But it kept happening, every few seconds. "Mail doesn't come that much," floated through my consciousness... followed by, "It's windy... making the mail slot open and close," as I gradually became more lucid, then fully awake, I knew that it wasn't the mail slot at all, but rather a piece of metal scraping against the cement of the building somewhere outside of my current home. It's 02:55 now as I start writing this.

Soon after the scraping metal woke me up, and I realized what it was, the other thoughts started. I began to go through the alphabet...

A -- Allan? no
B -- Brian? Ben? Barry? no
C -- Chris? Cary? no

All the way through the rest of the alphabet.... still not there.

I couldn't remember his name, although I had a very vivid recollection of every other word we spoke to one another at Mellriche's Coffee Shop on Davie Street last night. Also readily available were the striking combination of visual details in his appearance and demeanor. Above his right elbow a sort of stretchy fabric arm band, "What is that?" Bright yellow on a blue background the next time he passed by my table, "Oh, it's Sponge Bob! I never did get Sponge Bob at all, even after watching a whole DVD of him. Maybe one or two light chuckles the whole disc!" On the back of his form fitting white t-shirt the bright red lettering, "KAREN." His curley dark brown (black?) hair spills out from under a small stocking cap, framing his kind face. Dark eyes, tan complexion, and it goes without saying, perfectly white teeth in the most loving and beautiful smile I've seen in this city-of-several-million people. About twenty years old, slim and feline as he casually stretches while visiting with another patron of the shop. Every bit of his clothing clings to him, revealing a perfectly healthy, supple body. Appreciation of the visual beauty of this physical form, but no lust here, not any more than there was when I saw the Venus de Milo at the Louvre four years ago.

Overhearing him mention living in Montreal, I decided to ask him about this experience. And NO! Not as you're probably thinking, to flirt. It was because I already knew, deep within, that he would be able to give a meaningful account of the experience. "Maybe I'll try Montreal for a few years, some day?" floated through my mind. His very presence was something that, up to this point a month into my time in this city-of-several-million, I had encountered very little of... presence. I knew that he would tell me what it was truly like to be in Montreal. He said that it was really great, but that it was SO different from Vancouver. That most all of the people he went to school with there were really into business and were very busy. That all of them were working so hard to start businesses, and that small, independent businesses are good! But they weren't really taking any time to really enjoy anything. "Like standing on a street corner and just looking at something! They'd all probably think I was crazy if they saw me doing that!" Then he had to go wait on another customer.

Phillip came to meet me for a coffee before the 8:00 pm meeting that he was taking me to. We hadn't seen each other for several days, but as usual we picked right up. With Phillip it's like the communication just happens naturally and the words are just a formality that we go through out of habit, since we're both humans this time around, and that's how most humans communicate. We had our coffees and got up to head toward the meeting. Looking around, I was somewhat disappointed that I didn't see him. "He's probably in the bathroom," which we passed on the way out the back door to get to the truck. Still raining... "I won't get that wet between here and the truck," as I decided not to open the big rainbow umbrella. Too much trouble to wrap it all up and velcro it again after only fifty feet to the vehicle. "Oh... there he is." Smoking a cigarette. A slight twinge of sadness, at the knowledge of the physical costs, but then happiness, because I KNOW that he's actually enjoying this cigarette!

"Hey! My name's Eric." : ))

"Nice to meet you, Eric! I'm _________" (Jesus! How could I have possibly forgotten his name?!?!)

"Have a great evening!"

"You as well!" : )) "Hope to see you here again sometime!"

"Oh yeah, I'll be back for sure!"

He's almost certainly straight, I think. This is not flirtation at all, but rather something completely unexpected and almost overwhelming to me. He LOVES me... but not just me... he loves everyone and everything around him at all times. He already is, at the tender age of twenty-something, that which I aspire to be -- pure love. And he's here for the same reason that I am! WOO HOO!!!! It is all so clear to me now at 3:51 am. This is what I'm here to do. Just BE... LOVE... NOW !!!

At all times!

With all people!

In all situations!

BE LOVE NOW !!!!

BE! As in be fully present, aware, the pure, unadulaterated, universal consciousness, the whole of which we are all beautifully individuated parts!!! No thoughts, no judgements, no worries, no regrets, none of that background noise that catches the attention of THE consciousness, which we all truly are. Just BE.

LOVE! This is a verb, which words are actually inadequate to describe, but let's give it a try. It's what we do every time we see a friend, or a baby, or a puppy, or a kitten, or a bunny rabbit, or a soaring eagle, or a spectacular sunset. It's what's happening when we enjoy a great big belly laugh. It's what's happening when we hug. It's what's happening when we smile. It's what's happening when we kiss. It's what's happening when we make love! This feeling, noun, verb, concept, emotion, sensation IS WHAT WE ARE at the core of our being!!! Unfortunately, it gets clouded over by our minds too much of the time, but when the mind begins to quiet, love starts to shine through more and more ; )

NOW! Is all that there is. It is always now. There IS NOTHING ELSE!!! The past exists only as a recollection in the mind. The future exists only as a projection in the mind. Now is all that ever has been, is, or will be. Now is where the presence, the consciousness, the joy, the love always occurs. The mind is never now. It is always either in the past or in the future. THE MIND IS NOT WHO OR WHAT WE ARE. It keeps us out of the gift, the present, the now. It is THE distraction which directs our attention, the consciousness that we are, away from the present moment. And guess what... the mind is the source and location of all suffering. Entire volumes have been written on this, and I used to understand it intellectually, with the thinking mind. But, more and more each day, I know this truth, because I'm spending more time in the true, natural state of my being, and the mind is falling away. Yes, thank God.... I'm losing my mind : )) And more and more of the time, NOW I AM LOVE!

This is it. What all the beloved masters have tried to share throughout the ages by their very presence. The only thing that they did, the only thing that they taught, the only thing that they wanted for each and every one of us was to BE LOVE NOW!!!

This is the first thing I've written since I came to Vancouver. It far surpasses any and all importance of any books i might write on health and wellness. It captures the essence of why I'm even here on this planet at this point in the third dimensional space / time continuum. This is my "job." This is who I AM. I am here to BE LOVE NOW!!! : ))

Thanks for reading!
Namaste,
Eric : )

ps: so much more has gone into bringing me to this point in my journey, and much more can and will be written in the future to correlate with tonight's experience and emotion; however, it's 4:38 am, and I will be practicing Bikram Yoga in less than two hours, so stay tuned : )

The Next Chapter In My Life

Hello everyone : ) It's been quite a while since I posted on here as I've really gotten out of the habit of writing, but I figured this would be the most efficient way to share with everyone what's going on in my part of our world. I've already told the tale aloud to lots of friends and family who seem to get quite a kick out of it, so I decided to write it down for the rest of my loved ones who haven't yet heard what I'm up to these days. Any and all feedback is quite welcome, although I probably won't respond to comments on here but will be available on my email ericmix@gmail.com

For quite a while I've had a kind of low level feeling, knowing, nagging sensation that working as a physician in a clinical setting just isn't 'it' for me. I do love many aspects of the job, and feel grateful to be able to help people in my work on a daily basis, but lately I've had the growing realization that somehow western medicine has got it all backwards -- practicing miniscule amounts of prevention and maximal, expensive intervention--and that it is just not what I'm meant to be being and doing anymore. Some time within the past year or so the title of my first book came to me. This title pretty much captures the essence of what I'd like to be, do, and say during the remainder of my time on earth in this body; however the time just didn't seem right financially, spiritually, or emotionally to make the radical changes that I knew I'd make when I started actually writing this all down. You see, to write this book I'm going to have to step way out of the comfortable little zone I've been in for the past few years of regular work, steady income, and "benefits." As a matter of fact, I fully intend to leave that zone behind for good and go out on a limb to follow my heart's desire and do what I know it is time for me to do to be able to help the most people that I can with my remaining time on earth.

Don't worry! I do NOT have any sort of illness, terminal or otherwise. I'm actually healthy as a horse, cool as a cucumber, and in a better frame of mind, body, spirit than I've ever been in in my life : )) There's a renewed sense of excitement and purpose in my life now since making this decision, and sometimes I feel like I'm going to just swell up and bust with joy! So here it is...the title of the book:

WHY I LEFT MEDICINE AND HOW YOU CAN TOO -- A doctor writes his greatest prescription

Several people have suggested that I not quit clinical doctoring work completely, but rather keep working and just do the writing while I work. This just doesn't feel right to me, because implicit in the title is the act of having already left. I want this to be authentic, and I feel that taking this leap of faith will lend credence to my words. When the potential reader picks this up off the shelf and reads the inner cover, I want them to feel a sense of inspiration, a knowing that they too can JUMP out of the box and make changes that will result in a better quality of life, enjoying a radiant and healthy holy trinity of body, mind, and spirit.

I've given my official notice of resignation at my job with IHS here in Lame Deer, Montana. My last day will be September 30. Not only will this be my last day at this job, but also the end of my time in the clinical practice of modern western medicine. I'll head back to Oklahoma and Kansas for a couple weeks in early October, then from Tulsa I'll fly up to Vancouver, BC, Canada where I'll begin writing in earnest. My Dear friend Wendy has a lovely place where I can stay in a great location downtown with a stunning view! It's just about a 15 minute walk up the street to a daily, noon meeting with a group that I consider to be one of my 'home groups' in my recovery program. There's really no need whatsoever for a car while living downtown on the West End of this beautiful city. I'll also have access to Bikram Yoga again, and will be a lean, mean, writing machine after two months of my fruit/veggie smoothies and yoga 3-5 times a week. I got a plane ticket with my American Airlines frequent flyer miles and only had to pay some small taxes (about $50) for the round trip flight, returning in time for the holidays with family in OK / KS on December 20. By this time I will have the first draft written, or at least the bulk of the work done and/or a strong book proposal that I can send to agents / publishers. By the time I leave Lame Deer, I'll have given away the vast majority of my material possessions and will be able to move the remainder on my little white pony (the Prius). So here's the basic timeline:

--Sept 30th: last day of work in MT, leave for OK

--October first few days: visit family / friends in CO, KS, OK

--October 7th & 8th: attend and participate in "I AM" event at Washington Irving Park, 13700 South Memorial Drive in Bixby, OK

http://www.iammindbodyspirit.com/

https://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=255005541185296

--October 13th: Fly up to Vancouver, BC Canada to spend a couple months writing and offering free wellness consultations (see below)

--December 20th: Fly back to Tulsa and spend the holidays in the heartland with family / friends


While in Vancouver I plan to begin offering free "Health and Wellness" consultations like this. I'll sit in the atrium area of the Vancouver public library (google it -- it's an AMAZING location!) with my iPad and a sign that says:

FREE Health and Wellness Consultations
Former Drug Dealer (Licensed Physician)
Donations Gratefully Accepted
50% of ALL donations I receive will be donated to the charities of my choosing

Teaching in this way is something that I've dreamed of for a long time, and now it will be realized very soon. I know without a doubt that my needs will all be met through this work and with earnings from my writings. The Source of ALL THAT IS will continue to care for me and guide me, just as she has throughout this lifetime : ) I'll be able to continue helping people without all of the hassle and frustration of a clinical work environment while fully embodying the true meaning of the word 'doctor,' which comes from the latin 'docare' -- to teach. Furthermore, it will be offered to those who actually want education, and not just a pill to fix whatever symptom they might be having. As the saying goes, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear."

Although these ideas have been floating around in my head and heart for a while, I hadn't yet received the signals that the time was right to start bringing them into manifestation in my reality. That all began to change when I ran into my dear friend, Joe Picorale, in Tulsa on June 11. We got to hang out and spend some quality time discussing life, love, consciousness, the universe... all the usual stuff. We've traded books back and forth for a few years now and Joe gave me a copy of a book that so many folks have recommended to me over the years:

CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD -- An Uncommon Dialogue - by Neale Donald Walsch

I started reading it on the plane on the way back from Tulsa to MT, and was absolutely blown away by this book which, in my opinion, is the most profoundly truthful, loving, joyous, and blasphemous (relative to major religions) thing that I have ever read! It is now my new favorite of all time, and I highly recommend it to everyone!!! After finishing this phenomenal book, I started reading it again, as I follow the advice of my late sponsor and friend, Gil Baker, who suggested that if reading something for personal growth, I read it at least three times all the way through so that it becomes integrated into my being. A few seconds after I finished the book, I went to the author's website, clicked on the 'events' tab and found an event to attend at the end of July. This event was called "The Homecoming," and was held in the home of Neale and his amazing wife, Em. There were only eight of us in attendance, so it was quite an intimate, loving, and moving experience to say the least! Words are truly inadequate to describe how inspiring this experience was for me, but suffice it to say that this event and the wisdom that I received there crystalized for me that the time is right... RIGHT NOW to begin this new and exciting phase of my life. Many thanks to Joe Picorale, Neale Donald Walsch, all of the amazing new friends who attended the "Homecoming," as well as to all of the wonderful friends and family who have offered so much encouragement, love, and support as I go through this transition!

In reference to my last blog post, in case you end up reading it as well, I feel like I already HAVE won the lottery metaphorically by receiving the inspiration to move on into these new frontiers; however, I will continue to play the actually lotto so that when I win it I'll have extra resources with which to help folks ; )

So, this is the beginning of the next chapter in my life. For those of you in OK, KS, CO, and BC, I look forward to seeing you all very soon. To those here in SE MT, Thank you for being a part of my life and a very fond farewell, rather than goodbye, as I know that we will meet again someday. Much Love and Light to one and all!

Eric : )

WHEN i win the lottery...

I'll deposit the money into an online account for the purchase of foreign currency and I'll buy the following:

Canadian dollars
Japanese Yen
Aussie Dollars
Kiwi Dollars
Chinese Yuan
Indian Rupiya
Russian Rubles
Swiss Francs
Euros
British Pounds
Norwegian Koruna
Brazilian Reales

That should pretty much cover currency diversity, so that when various currencies start to collapse in earnest, I'll have a bit elsewhere to be able to make a go of it. After that first online purchase, I'll start the great round-the-world banking tour to get bank accounts set up in each of the respective countries. I imagine that it will take a good deal of paper signing in person to accomplish this first step. While in Switzerland, I'll certainly be purchasing a lot more than just Francs--namely platinum and gold bullion coins and bars to store as a hedge against generalized currency collapse around the globe. The good ole USofA just isn't safe enough, as it has a history of government confiscation of bullion in the 1930's.

Once the first little step of currency diversification is taken care of I'll start the process of taking care of the friends and family : ) I figure that some folks can do without a house payment as part of their expenses, so I'll get a lawyer to travel around with me and purchase the loved ones' homes. I'll put OUR title into a joint tenancy survivorship deed, so that if something should happen to me, the house will automatically be solely in the survivor's name WITHOUT ANY FURTHER TAXATION! If I were to just give them the money to pay off their homes, then they'd get taxed on that amount....NEIN, NON, NYET, IYE, BU, TLA, SA, NO MORE TAX!!!!!

Next order of business will be to go through the next available Bikram Yoga teacher's training course. From what I understand, this course is quite rigorous, perhaps as physically taxing as some military boot camps! Having practiced this yoga series consistently for a few years while in school, I know first hand the benefits to the mind, body, and spirit that come from regular practice. This is something that I will share with as many people as I can in a non-profit way by opening studios (ashram's if you will) where one can enjoy this wonderful practice for a bare minimum of expense (just enough to cover costs and continue operation indefinitely).

I'll begin writing my first book while jetting blissfully between bank deposit destinations and continue it until it's finished, maybe before breaking ground on the first yoga studio! The title of this book will be, "Why I left Medicine and How YOU CAN TOO!"© This is something that I will begin one way or another, but it will happen sooner when I win the lottery : )

My home will be small and elegant, requiring minimal maintenance. I'll probably RENT a one bedroom condo somewhere with good public transportation, cooler climate, and an international airport. San Francisco is currently at the top of the list, although Seattle, Portland, and Vancouver are under consideration. I might even make my base in Montreal or Paris just to pick up the French language which just sounds so friggin sexy!

Bills will be easy to pay, as I'll have a good online bank account with auto payments set up for all of the utilities, rent, and the one credit card that I'll use for day to day expenses.

I'll both practice and teach Bikram Yoga several times a week.

I'll continue to go to frequent meetings so that I can stay sober and help others to do the same.

I'll eat the best vegetarian food available in my own home, but I'll eat whatever I'm served in someone else's home.

I'll utilize public libraries for all of my reading.

I'll watch movies only in the theater and not need a television for viewing at home.

I'll visit people and/or take them with me to beautiful places around the world

I'll lecture publicly on holistic health, wellness, disease prevention, nutrition, and home remedies for minor conditions so that people can take their health into their own hands. This I'll do for the cost of my travel expenses.

I'll use public transport most of the time and drive only on rare occasion, otherwise I'll have my friends and family give me rides and pay them for the gas : )

I'll have very few possessions... far fewer than I did before winning the lottery! Most of my stuff I'll give away so I can travel light.

Oh yeah... almost forgot.... become enlightened and bring about world peace. How could I have forgotten that?!?!

All of the things listed above will happen in my lifetime. Some of them will just happen quicker when I win the lottery : )

Still here!

Howdy folks : )

It's been a long time since I had anything posted on here, and I know that some are concerned since the last post listed was back in November of 2009. In actuality I posted quite a few times through this spring but felt it necessary to remove all of those posts in order to cleanse that phase of my life.

In mid December last year I got into a relationship which ended in a really bizarre way in the middle of June, 2010. During those six months I had a lot of fun traveling back and forth between Oklahoma and Montana with the guy I was dating and actually moved to MT at the end of April. We moved here to be closer to the place where his family lives, and I got a job working for the Indian Health Service, which got me out of the distasteful business of medicine and into the practice of medicine in a socialized setting. Good move!

When things really blew up in the relationship, for the first time ever I felt the need to completely sever all ties with another human. I'm still in the process of cleansing my home and getting all of the traces of him out of here in order to heal from the whole mess. This process is going quite well, and I'm doing great, getting back to my center, and moving on in all areas of my life. I won't go into any of the gory details on this blog, but if you're curious I'll share it with you in another more private format.

I used to think people were just deluded when they said, "Everything happens for a reason." Well, delusional or not, I'm one who says that now! The crazy relationship knocked me off of my tracks for a while, but in doing so it got me out of the rut I was in back in Oklahoma. It also got me up here to a beautiful new home, a wonderful new job, amazing new friends, a vibrant and fascinating new culture in which to live, and it saved me from the oppressive heat and humidity of the Oklahoma summer. So for all of this I'm very thankful to Source! : )

Enjoying WHAT???

This post might cause some to question my sanity, but here goes! Some of you may have heard me say, "I'm going to drive this car till the wheels fall off." Well, as it turns out, that was a self-fulfilled prophecy. On Tuesday, November 27, 2009 someone ran a redlight and totaled my little BGAP (the Big Gay Activist Prius). I wasn't hurt at all, but alas, the BGAP was "totaled" by the insurance adjustors.

I was westbound on 7th street when a southbound car ran the red light at Elgin Street and struck me on the rear passenger door. Luckily the pavement was wet, I had a lot of forward momentum, and they struck me behind the center of the car (axis of rotation). This caused me to continue forward while spinning. I think I turned around about 3/4 of a turn in the middle of the four-lane street without hitting any other vehicles. The other car had it's front end smooshed in and to the right and the radiator busted all to hell. They were able to pull over to the side and didn't hit any other cars. Thankfully, nobody was hurt!

Here's where the story gets a little wierd and even crazy ; ) I saw the oncoming car just as I entered the intersection, and I'm pretty sure that the emotion, if not the actual words, "OH SHIT!!!!" passed through my mind. A split second later there was an explosive sound as the other car hit mine. Everything was moving in slow motion, just like I've always heard that it does from anyone who's ever been in a car wreck and remembered it. The BAMM from the impact was surprisingly brief...not at all as long as the sounds of car crashes in the movies. At some point I had started braking, maybe before or after the impact--I can't remember which. I realized that I was spinning by the motion of the scenery outside the car, as well as the insistant BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! of the anti-skid warning alarm and light on the dash. I looked at it and thought, "I know I'm fucking skidding!!!" and then started laughing, and thought to myself, "RELAX." Somehow I was able to purposefully and mindfully relax my entire body because I knew that tensing up would really exacerbate the later aches and pains. When I finally came to a stop every warning light on the dashboard was lit up. The passenger side curtain airbags were the only ones that had deployed, as they were on the side of the impact. My cell phone was cradled comfortably in it's usual spot in the console cup holder. Chuckling ironically, I called the office of the attorneys I was on the way to see about an upcoming deposition. I made the call quickly, then opened the door and was relieved to see the two passengers of the other car standing outside and looking OK. We called out to each other and made sure that all of us were alright, then waited for the police and the wrecker to arrive. The weird and crazy part of this whole thing was that I felt absolutely ZERO anger, frustration, anxiety, or any other negative emotions at all. I was simply filled with gratitude that all of us involved were alright. The other party completely admitted fault and was sited by the officer for running the red light. Unfortunately for them, their insurance had been canceled for non-payment a few months before, so my insurance company will end up going after them for it after they pay my claim. If I could afford to do so, I'd just pay it myself so that the other folks wouldn't have to go through all the trouble, as I'm sure that they can't afford it; however, I also can not afford to pay off what I still owe on the Prius or to get another car without the insurance settlement, so I'll have to file. If I won the lottery though, I'd just drop it and buy me another prius as well as one for the other folks. When I try to think about it logically, it doesn't make sense to me at all--that I feel worse for the people who were at fault than I do for myself, the actual victim of the accident. The only emotions that I can come up with are gratitude that nobody was seriously injured and sorrow for the others who appeared to be way less fortunate in life than I am.

Less than an hour after the impact I was in a FANCY Camry with heated leather seats and XM Radio, blasting the amazing, gay, dance club music : )) The wrecker had towed me directly to the Toyota collision center which had the Toyota car rental center next door. The folks at both places were super helpful. I went to an AA meeting, then went for my favorite Indian food at Kolam. From there I went on out to Coweta to see my practice partner, Shawna McCalip, MD to get checked out, documented, and treated for the soreness that was creeping up on me. I didn't have any serious pains yet, but my entire upper back was starting to tighten up and get a little achy and actually burning. The burning wasn't bad, just an odd sensation. Shawna was lucky enough to get to see my manly man hairy chest when she checked for seatbelt marks...lol :-P Everything checked out fine and I got a shot of toradol and my scripts for toradol tablets, flexeril (muscle relaxer), and medrol (steroid anti-inflamatory)called in to City Drug in Coweta. They had them ready WAY FASTER and at a MUCH better price than Walgreens! I got all three scripts for $17, which is what the giant corporate chain was going to charge for only one of them! I'll never fill one at walgreens again. After getting my meds I went back to Mary Ann's place in Tulsa because she has a Tempurpedic bed in the guest room for me to sleep on and a heat pad, which I didn't have at home and didn't really want to buy. We got a bite to eat and then both turned in for the evening. I ended up taking three tabs of toradol after the shot, only three of the flexeril. The last dose of each at 7:30 Wednesday morning, and I didn't even start the steroid does pack at all. I was feeling perfectly fine through the rest of the afternoon Wednesday, so called the office to let them know I'd be in to work on Thursday. I was VERY lucky to have come through such a collision with such minor injury!!!

I don't write about this experience to toot my own horn, to say how magnanimous I am, or anything like that. Rather, this post is more of a testament to the power, peace, serenity, and innumerable other benefits that I've received as a result of starting down a spiritual path almost nine years ago. When I put down the bottle and picked up "the program," my life began slowly but surely changing for the better, and it has never stopped improving. If it weren't for the program, I'd probably still be stewing, spewing, and downing the brewing in a vain attempt to kill the emotional pain. Not only have I been able to let go of any negativity associated with this accident, but I've also been able to handle it all very well with all of the complex details of paperwork that are involved in towing the car, arranging insurance claims, looking for another car, planning for the financial aspects, etc. Without the program, I'd have been a mess. Without the power of prayer and meditation, I'd have been lost. With the power of spirit, the program, prayer, and meditation I've enjoyed peace, serenity, focus, and strength in the midst of one of life's unexpected little storms. VERY strangely, I actually enjoyed the experience, as it was all completely new to me. For everything, I'm truly grateful : )

Pure Cafe in Tulsa

On Sunday, November 8th, I had a nearly ecstatic culinary experience for lunch with my friend, sponsor, guru, Mary Ann : ) This was our first lunch at Pure Cafe in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Pure is a completely raw food vegetarian eatery to the best of my knowledge, and it may be vegan as well. According to Mary Ann, they've been in the catering business for quite a while and have now ventured into the sit down restaurant arena. Considering that it was possibly the best food I've ever tasted in my life, if I have anything at all to do with it, they'll be here to stay!

Lunch was a complete sensory delight. The the fuschia orchids and multi-colored daisies gracing the tables were gently illuminated from the front of the restaurant by a large, awning covered bay window as well as delicate dangling lamps from above. A perfect breeze wafted the aroma of the food back and forth between the open front and back doors. Honey bees hovered about, attracted by both the flowers and the fruit scents I imagine. I used to have quite a bee and wasp phobia, but they seemed utterly harmless and added an extra dash of nature to the experience. Music played at the perfect volume softly accentuating all of the other sensual stimuli. Our corner of the restaurant was the apex of the two bench seating areas, which afforded us both a complete view of the place. The bookcase on the wall just inside the entry shelves a facinating collection of raw food cook books--an oxymoron suppose, since none of the food there is actually cooked, but rather prepared.

Mary Ann had a pizza with a crunchy crust of what seemed to be ground up nuts. Aside from the nibble of the crust that I had, she polished off the whole thing without a problem! I had coconut noodles made of tender baby coconut "meat" which was tossed together with cashews, radishes, and lots of other stuff that I couldn't identify. I've decided that for me, it doesn't matter what's in it as long as it's tasty and comes from the plant kingdom. To top it all off, they had fresh coconut water, which is now my absolute favorite beverage on Earth! : ))

I can't wait to go back and try some more of their amazing creations! If you're up for a phenomenal senory, culinary experience, check out Pure Cafe:

Pure Cafe
3711 S Harvard
Tulsa, OK
www.purerawcafe.com
918-749-8000

You won't be disappointed!!!

Meat Relapse Dream

Fascinating what the mind will come up with in the middle of the night! A night or two ago I dreamed that I was chewing on something that tasted very bad, had a horrible texture, and was tightly stuck in my throat. I thought, "What the hell is this I'm eating?!?!" Then I looked at what I had in my hand and realized it was a chicken sandwich, like what one would get at a Chick-filet fast food grease bin. I was at once shocked, disappointed and disgusted, wondering how and why I had picked up a chicken sandwich, let alone begun to eat it. Then I decided to spit out what was left in my mouth and choke down what was still in my throat, resolving to be more careful in my future food choices.

Dreams of this type are not unfamiliar to me. I've been having them for years since I had my last drink of alcohol. I'll be in mid swig when I realize what's going on and the feelings that I have in these "drunk dreams" are exactly like what I had in the meat relapse dream the other night. I'm always terribly surprised and disappointed that I've messed up; however, invariably my resolve to continue on down the right path is steadfast. I feel about eating meat much the same as I do about drinking alcohol. It is a thing of the past for me. Not only do I not miss it, but I'm truly thrilled about my future life without it!

Stopping the consumption of meat is not a loss for me at all, but rather an opportunity to fully explore and delight in the bounty and variety of vegetarian cuisine : ) Browsing the produce section is way more fun than I ever imagined it could be; furthermore, I'm now unconcerned about getting my hands covered in scary bacteria like I used to be when shopping in the meat section. Same goes for my cutting board. I'm pitching the old one that I used for meat and happily slicing, dicing, and cutting all my fruits and veggies on my new bamboo board without worrying about the "cross contamination" that used to have me on edge any time I cooked meats--chicken in particular. I've got a lot more room in the freezer as well, so now I can prepare large quantities of my veggie delights and freeze them for later use. Although I used to eat meat and enjoy it quite a lot, that hadn't been the case for quite a while before I completely stopped, so the first week of being meat free has been incredibly easy. Not only have I not missed it, but I feel much better already. I wasn't tempted even a single time the entire week, and I know that I won't be in the future either : )

I'm sure I'll have more meat relapse dreams... maybe around holidays or when I'm visiting family. Just like my familiar old alcoholic drunk dreams, I'll awaken with relief, resolve, and renewed faith that have made very wise choices in leaving those things behind.